Stem cell research? Bah. I’m thinking glow-in-the-dark hot dogs.
On that note, Reduce Idiocy will be taking a hiatus for a while. Yes, we just had the holiday off, but the task of reducing idiocy in the world has sapped us more than we realized, so we’ll be back later in the new year with some new writers to help us along. We’ll still make occasional posts in the meantime, so check in on us every once in a while!
Hi folks,
We’re relaxing this week to recuperate from all the idiocy we’ve tried to tackle in the last half of 2006. What have we learned? A lot… Mostly from our readers. Most of you are great, and we love ya. A few of you haven’t “gotten” it yet. Like, there’s a difference between an obvious misspelling on a government site that we paid $2 million in taxes to develop and a typo on our blog.
The point is that we all have a little idiot in us. Some have a little idiot attached to us, in fact. We’re not trying to be mean to anyone here, we’re just hoping to help people sit back and take a “real-life” look at some of the stupid things that we’ve seen over the past year. Yes, there are more important things to be doing. And we’ll start doing them as soon as we clear enough idiocy out of the world so that we can band together and make a difference.
Are you with us? Good! Then get ready for 2007, when we’ll be breathing some new life into Reduce Idiocy.
Happy holidays to all,
Walker & Oriole Adams
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see anything wrong with an interviewee thanking his host. To paraphrase the Waffle House, the host had a choice and he chose you. So what’s wrong with a little common courtesy and adding your thanks to his? A lot, according to some people. Emily Post recommends sending a written thank you note to the host of a business luncheon, the person who interviewed you for a job, and the organizer of any workshop that you attend, so a verbal “thanks” for being allowed to speak on the air hardly seems out of line.
The first Wrestlemania event was held in New York in 1985. Next year’s, the 23rd, will be held in Detroit.
And speaking of grappling, this confirms it. It’s time to arrange a few “death matches.” Losers are forced to leave Hollywood forever!
Opening matches include:
And in the title bout: Oprah vs. Rosie. No matter who loses, we all win.
What matches would you add to the card? Comment and let us know.
If you saw the Cowboys-Falcons game Sunday afternoon, you probably saw replay after replay of Dallas wide receiver Terrell Owens spitting in the face of an opposing player. Despite his obvious talent as a player, this display proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the man has absolutely no class. It certainly made me sick.
Speaking of both spitting and being sick, in your memories of being ill, you may have noticed something that I’ve noticed: Right before you’re about to hurl, your mouth starts to salivate. I always wondered if this liquid was actually saliva, or some weird “stomach juice,” or what. So I looked it up.
As it turns out, when you’re about to vomit, saliva begins to fill the mouth, and doctors believe that this happens for a specific and helpful purpose: to protect the mouth against the acidy mix that’s about to pass (backwards) through it during vomiting.
So congratulations, Terrell Owens, our newest Idiot of the Week. We always knew you were full of nothing but spit.
Meet Gardenia Zakrzewski Johansson. The 39-year-old former Montessori teacher was arrested for leaving her two-year-old son in her BMW while she went shopping at Nieman-Marcus. She asked the valet to keep an eye on her child, and then took her dog with her into the store to pick up a Christmas present.
After her mug shot was published, other merchants have come forward to say that they were familiar with her. Johansson had previously asked store employees to leave her baby in their care while she shopped. At least she had the presence of mind while she was being handcuffed to ask the cops to retrieve her package from the department store.
While her name has been removed from the Montessori at Anthem Web site, we dug up a cached version. The text reads:
Gardenia Johansson, Primary/Pre Primary Educator
Ms. Johansson is a Primary Educator at Montessori at Anthem. Ms. Johansson received her Montessori training in Sweden when she was living there. She has been involved in Montessori education for ten years. Ms. Johansson has a young son, who occupys [sp.] her time when she is not at school. Ms. Johannson [sp.] loves the calm spirit that is characteristic of a Montessori learning environment. She believes in helping the children in her room develop a love of learning that they will carry throughout their lives.
Uh-huh. Her young son “occupys” her time? Even if the spelling was correct, the information certainly wasn’t. What the poor boy was occupying wasn’t his mother’s time, but the back seat of her car… and her life. Sad.
Associated Press: New information has been revealed on the long-debated concept that it’s possible that an inmate being executed by lethal injection could remain conscious, experiencing severe pain as he slowly dies.
Reduce Idiocy: So?
[UPDATE 10:30 AM ET] Oh, I love the comments. It’s nice to know people are reading. And folks? The post was meant exactly for that purpose — to stir discussion and debate. Personally, I’ve always been torn on the capital punishment issue. So… convince me one way or the other!
Indiana State Lottery officials were actually surprised when they were trampled during a prize-filled balloon launch (ten of the 200 balloons contained a special $25 lottery ticket.) One representative was knocked down as the frenzied throng tried to snatch the balloons that were wrapped around her wrist. Even if dangling prizes in front of a greedy mod sounded like a good idea at the time, the Hoosier Lottery folks should be aware that balloon releases are an environmental hazard. Sea creatures (giant turtles, dolphins, etc) mistake the deflated balloons that land in the ocean for jellyfish, eat them, and often die as a result.
…except that we threw an egg at his truck. When the irate egging victim started following Elise Robles and her companion, she panicked and crashed her parents’ Ford Concourse into a house. Hopefully, the victim of the egging knows that egg will seriously damage a vehicle’s paint and it should be cleaned off as soon as possible, preferably with a vinegar and water solution.
Some Subaru Impreza models have top speeds of more than 150 mph. So I ask you: What does a 16-year-old need with a car that will go that fast? And what was he doing out at nearly 1 in the morning, even on a weekend? Parents? Hello?
Idiot's Idiot
It was only a matter
of time before he
appeared here. Ptui.
